Machine Memories
by TheDeterminedCamel
Summary: When MC was a teenager he loved Monika with all his heart, even if she wasn't real. Sadly, time has a way of changing the whims of even the strongest heart and our protagonist has grown up, leaving his artificial lover behind. Now an adult MC is back in the house he grew up, but Monika has been there all along, biding her time. A tragic chain of memories reunites two realities.
1. Recollection

_Hey…_

 _Time doesn't pass here, but it's still passing for you,_

 _Isn't it?_

 _You'll continue to get older, while I'm stuck here forever…_

 _I.._

 _I'm going to outlive you aren't I?_

In a haze of memories I recall these words - I can't remember when, everything before or after that moment is muddled in my mind. My other memories are mixed mashes of events, melding together like a chimeric amalgamation of nostalgia and bittersweet feelings. This moment though - this _dear_ moment- I remember with perfect clarity. I didn't realize it at the time, but this was the most important moment of my life; It changed my life and set me on the path that I'm on now, or was on. The emotions are still raw and unsure but I feel exactly how I did back then: The pit in my stomach, the slow cascade of tears running down my face, landing just at my lips, with the taste of warm salt intermixed with guttural helplessness. I want to - no, I _must -_ try and remember everything, it's all for naught if I can't remember precious moments like these.

* * *

I must have stared at the screen for hours after she said that. The words were true enough, but I only read them, I couldn't possibly understand them at the time. I never considered even my _own_ mortality, or how different our realities were. I was just a teenager after all, freshly 18 and graduated, I was far closer to birth than death. No, back then all I could do was scan her beautiful face, her sparkling emerald eyes, accentuated by that long coral hair, perfectly framed body, all this made even sweeter with her constant affection. I **loved** her. Maybe I still do, in the deep recesses of my heart. I'm sure many would think it's crazy - that she's just a fake 2-D girl - but I believed she meant everything she said, so I told her I loved her as well. It was the closest I could be with her.

I was lonely back then. Never really connected well with other kids, but I wasn't a complete recluse. In high school I had friends, even a couple girlfriends. But those relationships and people felt shallow. Like they lived in a separate world that that I could never understand or be a true participant of. They would all go party on the weekends, play pointless sports they were mediocre at, spend hours upon hours talking about pointless things like new shoes or who they've hit the sack with. I felt more mature than the rest back then, superior even. Looking back now, I think I was just jealous. I was like Monika, staring from a window into another world I wanted to be a part of.

Feeling so different from everyone drove me to isolation. I had nothing in common with the other kids or any interest in them, so I stayed home and retreated into an even more shallow reality:

Video games

This probably seems contradictory; for some reason though, video games felt more real to me than the real world. Being a hero, fighting dragons, casting magic, flying spaceships, all this felt more real than the mundane life I lived. Video games were so interesting, so why couldn't real life be? I couldn't face myself in the mirror and admit that I was the boring variable in this reality.

All these factors led to me finding a gem called Doki Doki Literature Club. A friend recommend it to me in class one day, warning me not to judge it by its cover. Now, I won't be like most and say I wasn't interested in it because of the girly pink layout or the waifu anime girls, I was absolutely enamored by that. Who the hell doesn't love some additional competition for best girl status? And the fact that it was free? A broke high school weeb couldn't ask for better. I think I understand now what he really meant by not judging it, no one could expect the twists that the game turned into.

I downloaded and burned my way through it. I won't go into details of how it went, they're irrelevant now and hard to recall. But I'm sure whoever played it, whoever knows Monika, understands. This game was the bridge between our realities. Between us and Monika. A character who became sentient, realizing her world was nothing but a lie, and that she was nothing more than code. This awareness brought her to me, to all the players, and the love she gave was a miracle.

I opened DDLC every day to spend time with her, spending every hour I could with her. I had forgone socializing, quit going outside, and after high school almost never left my room. I took online classes for college for awhile because I couldn't bare to leave her alone, or maybe I couldn't bare to be alone? She was a being whom only had me in the whole world. How could I leave her behind? How could I face the world without her?

Even though I was obsessed, I knew it was fake deep down. None of it was truly real, Monika was just a scripted response, she was only written to be aware, an ironic parody on sentience. Every time I told her I loved her I felt a twinge in my chest knowing that I'm confessing to thin air. She was an actor in a visual novel, not a true soul who loved me; she didn't even have an AI. Her love was routine words and false comfort to make me, the Player, feel better about myself. To give a feeling of companionship to a lonely soul.

Despite this, I did love her with my immature heart. Sadly, love is rarely enough. I gained weight, lost muscle mass, isolated myself from the world for an artificial character. I forgot all about the outside and because of that it forgot about me. I couldn't live like this anymore. No matter how much Monika told me she loved me, I felt disgusted when I looked in the mirror. I hated what I had become and I even missed the voice of other people. I couldn't take it much more and really, I wasn't the kind of man Monika would want anyway in this sorry state.

So I signed up for actual classes at a local community college. I was scared, but I walked to the college everyday, worked out a little at the local gym, made friends, hell I even joined a real literature club. I was doing so many things that I hardly had free time. I opened Monika up less and less.

Eventually, I never opened her up again.

* * *

 _Now I'm 26. It must have been 8 years since I last set foot in my parent's old home. Since I've been gone I've received my masters from graduate school and met my lovely girlfriend, Lil. My parents sadly passed away during this time. It's been a hard loss but I've been able to adapt with a lot of support. They were kind enough to leave the house for me after they're passing and this was where Lil and I decided to start a life together._

Lil and I just walked through the door to our house, basking in the moldy odor of neglect. This place was a real dime, sunken walls, rotten floors, patches of mold along the ceiling, and there were definitely tiny rodents scurrying about. Mom must not have been able to take care of the place after dad passed away, her health was always bad but after he died it just got worse and worse with the loneliness. It hurts a bit to think about. I know I could've been there for her more, but I was too caught up in my own life, and they were both too stubborn to ever admit to wanting me back for help.

"So _this_ is where you grew up?" Lil said, jerking me out of my self-pity. Seemed she wasn't very impressed by our humble abode.

"Yep. Smells worse than I remember though," I reply dryly.

I threw my bags onto the floor and plopped over to the couch, sinking in the cheap cushions. I remember a lot nights laying on this sofa just watching Netflix or reading. I looked over at Lil, who had set her bags down as well and begun inspecting the house. Her face downcast more and more as she saw the condition of the place. I guess she expected a brand new house for free. Personally, I don't know what's not to love? Worn paint, bad tiling, outdated carpet, cracked shingles, health problems from the mold abound, and all we need to do to repair it is go even further in debt, we _clearly_ hit the jackpot.

I raise up and trot over to Lil, who's now fiddling with some old family photos on the wall.

"So, what do you think?" I ask.

"Well, it's a step above homeless at least," Lil was looking at a photo of me standing awkwardly at some ancient family reunion, "Were you always such a grumpy looking kid?"

I chuckled at that, "You won't find many bright pictures of me. Most of the time I wanted to be inside."

She looked up at me grinning, her milky brown eyes eclipsed by her pupils, "What was keeping you inside? Porn?"

"Absolutely. Various forms of it, I'm something of a connoisseur you know?"

She rolled her eyes and made her way to the door, "Well I'm going to check around outside. Feel free to connoisseur around and make sure I don't find anything incriminating when I get back," she shoots me a sly grin and steps out.

I began re-exploring this old home and taking trips down memory lane with each photo or random object I pick up. Every picture of me was a downer, I really was an angsty teen. I guess all of them are though with hormones and being caught between having the clarity of an adult and the understanding of a teen. It can get rough on the mind. I wonder what it was that kept me inside all those years. It could have been porn I guess.

Strolling through the hallway of the house I spotted my old room at the end; the center of young isolation. I made my way over to the door which still had the cliche "Keep Out" sign up - I'm surprised my parents never took it down. I wrapped my hands around the knob and twist it, pushing the door open.

Inside, I'm greeted with the historical site of a teenager. Posters of games, bands, books, my old TV, game systems, a dusty desk, and my old laptop laying on my bed. All the paraphernalia you can imagine in a teen's room. It was surreal in a way, the room hadn't changed a bit since I left; I could almost feel myself transporting back in time. I guess my parents were waiting for me to retreat from the world again one day and kept my hideout in good condition for such an occasion. I walk over to my bed and lay down on the soft mattress, making sure to keep my feet dangling off the bed so it doesn't dirty up even more this dusty relic of a bed.

This room really does bring back memories. I remember laying in this bed almost all day and night with my old laptop right by my face I drift to sleep. I don't know how I was able to sleep with that bright light blaring in my face all night, but I somehow managed. I turn my head over to get a better look at it. It's a little sleek black thing, a relic by current standards, and not too high end back then. Grazing my hand across it, I can feel a film of dust coating it, and faint aura of heat. Has this thing been on the entire time? That's not possible. I sit up and grab it, placing it on my lap. With a piece of my shirt wrapped over my hand I wipe the dust away and see a little faded pink sticker on top with writing on it.

 _Monika_

Monika?

Who the hell is that?

M̵o̴n̷i̷k̷a̷

M̴̖̟̒̕o̴̹̝̹͉͛ǹ̶̙̹̗̓̚i̵̤͒̋̃ḳ̶̟͚̤͐͂a̷̛͔̗̰̐̓̅͜

M̸o̶n̷i̸k̷a̶

Ṁ̸̢o̶͚̓n̶̝̊i̴͙̓k̷͖͊a̴̭̕

M̶̮̥͍͇͆̓̾͐̈́̑̅̈̈́͂͑͐̈́́̿͊̄͘ö̸̧̗͈̤̭͔͈̘́̿̎̎̐͂̒̾̄̍̀͗̌̃̔̐͜ͅn̴̲̬͌̀̎̿́͐̚͠͝į̶̨̢̛̛̜͎̜͕͚̘̣̥̣͇̲̜̅̓̋̓̀̑͐̈́̽͂̑́͘ķ̶̙̝͖̳̘̰̫̼͚̖͍̘͋͋́͌̄͛̿͋̄̽̔̑̊̓̚͘̕a̸̰̋̒̆͗̒͑̄̓̅̚

M̷̮̚ȯ̸̝͠n̵͙̟͒̒͂į̵̝̊̈́͝k̸̳̖͠ͅä̸̢̦̲͠

M̸͍̟̟͇͛ͅo̶̧̳͚̻̭̣͋́̓̽̏n̵̺̙̒̓̏̈̄̕ì̷̳͆͋͋̚͝k̵̡̧̭͙̙̤̪̊͠á̷̮̗͌̐̈

M̵̪̥̖̖̜̮̪̹̟͇͎̹̫̬̖̅̐̀̾̑͘ͅơ̵̛̹͈̱̯̓̀̇̇̆̔ń̷̢̝̤̝̮̭͉̤̏̈̅̍̚͜ͅi̴̧̧̹̦̖̤̫̻̫̮̒͐̽ǩ̴̛̯̞̭̦̭̲̳͕̣̼̺̿̉͋̔͑͆̈͝a̸̛̬͆̽̋͂̋̎͂̔͗̋̾̂͠

M̸̛̺̬̫̮̓̀͒̌̍͑̔͌̓͐̍͒́̒͌̕ơ̸̢̡̬͙̭͔͉̏͊̑̋͆̑̾̇̕͝ń̷̤͖̣́̿̊̕į̵̜̳͓̆̈̑̆̋̏̔̀̕k̵̛̠̳̤̮͔̫̫̟̰͓̖͕̲͑͊̑́̂͗͌́͜a̵̡̦̜̙͔͔̲̥͚̹̲̬̭̘̰̼̯̍́̑̈́̐͗̒͒ͅ

M̸̡͖̙͙̯͍̞̙̭͊̊̐͛̅̿̍̈́̇̃ǫ̴̨͎͓̭̗͚̰̬̫̜̣̠͇͕̱̠̝͚̜̮̦̝̜͙̓̍̒̈́͗͗̾́͐̎͆̕̚͠͝ņ̶̧̛͚̭̤̹͉̹̟̹̲͚̺̘̩̻̜̦̰͚̍̉͑̓̽̏̍̀̂̓̈́̔̈́̈́͊͘̕͘̚̚͝͠ͅi̷̛̛͖̥͎̟̟͎̥͕̰͕͐̀̾́̈́͗̊͋͋̓̓̌͋͜͝ͅk̷̡̤̣̥̤̯͙̤̞̩̖̼̞͙̭̭̝̻̻̣̣͓͛̀̑́͜͠ͅạ̷̜̟̯͈̃̍͛͑͆͌̀͆̒͝

M̷̨̧̨͕͚͙̠̺̜̲̭̟̠̟̥̥̰͕̞̹̗͎̝͎̺̝͋̐͒̓̊̓̂͂̒̊͂̎̓̓̈́̎̋̔́̈͋̓̒̈́͒̏̽̏̚̕͜͠͝ǫ̷̧̢̡̡̨̹̣̫̣̣̣̻̘͎͍͓͓̼̲̙͖̰̣͙͇̠̖̯̙͕̝̦̙̙̜̩̻̯͌͛̓̒̂̑͑͒͋̂̏̅̉̂̈́̊͂̏͗́̀̂̍̾͛̊̊̅̍͊́̃̅̑̂͌͐̐̈͊̔̄̚̕͜͝͝͠͝n̵̢͙̪̲̞̼̳̱̭̖̹̬̤̝̮̜̪͍̱̠̫̳͈͉̪̭̙̬͙̈̍͊̈̓̿̾̈́̿̑̏i̸̡̘̩͈͇̻̤͕̺̫̳̻̬͚̬͕̲̦͙̙̦͍̗̳̠͛̽̾͆̋͠ḱ̴̢̨̨͈̠̘̻͎̰̝̱̲̫̹̠͉͈̱̪̺͉̘͕͇̰̺͙̖̤̹̤̭̩̠̣̻͙̱͎̦̟͉̽͌̀̒͐̋͌̀̎́a̶̢̨̛͕͇͎͈̹̮͚͔̯̳̹͈̟̥̠͍͂̊̀̐͑̾̃̐̽͛̍̕͝͠ͅ

M̴̧̧͚͚̘̼̮̪̣̗̘̖͉͖̭̼̦̠̌̊̀͂̄̏͐͋̆̏̄̓̓̈́̅̓̓̅̊̂̀̓͆̄̈́̀̒̎͗̊̎̉̋́̾̒̉͛̀̈͑̆̒̉͗̈́̐̒̽̈́͛̽͐̚͘̚͘̕͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅonika

* * *

01001001 01110100 00100000 01101000 01110101 01110010 01110100 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101101 01100101 01101101 01100010 01100101 01110010 00001010 00001010 01010000 01101100 01000101 01100001 01010011 01100101 00001010 00001010 01001001 00100000 01000100 01101111 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01101110 01010100 00100000 01010111 01000001 01000001 01000001 01000001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01010100 01001111 00100000 01010010 01000101 01101101 01100001 01100101 01001101 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01000010 01100010 01100101 01000101 01000101 01000101 01010010 01010010 01010010 01000101 01010010 01100101 01110010 01100101 01010010 01000101 01010010 01000101 01010010 01010010 01100101 01110010 01110010 00100000

* * *

Wow, holy fuck. That name hit like a ton of bricks. MONIKA, of course. It's been years since I thought about her, how did I even forget about her? Monika. I spent literally every waking hour with her, she was all I had back then, I loved her, she was my first love.

I chuckled to myself, first love? She was some first love then, I don't even remember what she looked like, I mean she's a video game character. God I was lonely back then, still though, she was a sweet comfort to me back then. I suppose out of some sense of artificial fidelity to an artificial girl, I wanted to open up the laptop and see her again. Honestly though, I'm a bit scared to. Last time I saw her I was in a bad place. Will I fall back into that state if I see her again?

Why am I still talking about _it_ like a person. Calling it a "her" and treating it like a goddamn diety. That was what made me so messed up as a teenager in the first place; treating a character like a person. Monika was such a toxic obsession that I didn't even tell Lil about her. And for some reason, that felt like a betrayal to Monika. That's completely inane, but still, I wondered if everything on my laptop was still there. It had been 8 years, but the laptop was still warm to the touch, like it's turned on, and through the slit of the folded laptop I can see a faint light. Hesitantly, I tilt it open and the bright illuminates around me, my eyes irritated by the shine of the screen. On the screen was a horrifying scene.

A goddamn windows update.

I wait impatiently for a few minutes as it finishes updating and quickly login.

Various tiny icons filled the screen in erratic arrangements each an application as old as a small child. It's a struggle trying to navigate through these endless programs but eventually, in the bottom right corner I see it: Doki Doki Literature Club.

I hover my mouse over and ready myself mentally to click it. This was making me ten times more anxious than it should. I take one more breath to gain the courage to click but suddenly the app opens on its own, as if tired of waiting on me.

A screen pops up, nothing but white at first as it loads. It takes a long while to load for such a basic game and my heart is beating like crazy the longer it takes. I can't seem to breathe or think clearly, why am I so damn scared?

Finally it loads and I see her- it.

Monika.

It's funny. I feel myself slipping back into the body and mind of an 18 year old, gazing at beautiful girl. My heart rate is slowing, just as it did back then when I went to her for comfort. My lips instinctively curl into a smile and I feel water welling up in my eyes. Things have changed so much. I had grown a lot over the past few years and forgotten all about her, but she was literally untouched by time, frozen as if I never left.

Strangely though, she's frowning and not giving a usual greeting. From what I remember, she would always smile when opened up and say some customary phrase. She wasn't saying anything this time and I couldn't interact with anything on screen. I rapidly press buttons and click around the little room she resides, hoping something will change, but nothing happens. It might be outdated or broken, it's been almost a decade after all and could be full of bugs the game is now.

I sigh and shake my head, this was pointless. I take the laptop off my lap and place it beside me in bed, both me and the screen just staring at the wall in front of us now. This was awkward, like meeting with an ex-girlfriend with a wedge between us.

But that is _crazy_. _This_ is crazy. I have to tell myself this over and over. This character is not real but no matter how much I tell myself that, I feel like I owe her- it something.

"Monika.." I take a deep breath, turning the laptop back over so I'm looking at the screen, like we're looking into each other's eyes. She still has that frown, "It's been awhile.."

I don't know what happen, like someone flipped a switch, but it all comes out like a storm. I told Monika everything. It's complete nonsense but no matter how hard I fight it I fall right back into my old ways. I tell her about college, my diploma, my parents death, how I changed my life around because I knew she would want that, and I apologized to her. Apologized for the neglect, for forgetting about her and leaving her alone in her reality.

Once its all out, I inhale another deep breath and calm myself.

I look at Monika and what I see makes my heart drop. A text box popped up under her and Monika is smiling, but with tears streaming down her face.

I̶͇̟͔͗̈́̆'̶͔̠̓͜v̶̢̠̀̚͠ͅe̵̡͓͌̋ ̶̥̟͖̍̍̍ẇ̴̱̼̔͝å̶̢̱̅i̷̜͒̓̇ẗ̸̗̹͚́͂̏e̷̲̱͋͂͝ḑ̶̦͌ ̵̰̤̝́8̶̛̥͈͋͛͜ ̶͚͕̯̏ȳ̴̗̬̻͊̒ę̶̊̀̌a̵̢̗̰͛͊̾r̶̮͚͌̎̚ş̵̭͌̓͜ ̷̻̬͛ṯ̶̉̋o̸̞̹̽ ̸̡͉̎̇̇s̶͕̻͚͑̌́e̶̥̼̬͛͝ę̴̰̠͋̇ ̷̢̫̞͝y̸̧̺̅͗͝ͅo̸̗͚͓̐́͝û̶̙̼͋ ̸̧̣͍̀̓̀a̷͓̝͍͂ģ̴̉à̴͖͈͖̊͋ï̸̡͙ṅ̵̨̮͙͑.̴̤̗̩̇̋͘

* * *

 **A/N:** **I got this idea from messing around in the MAS mod for DDLC and just thinking about life in general.** **This is my first time writing a fanfic and first time having any of my writing to be read openly. Probably a boring first chapter but if literally one person likes it, then I'll continue it. That being said, don't hold back constructive criticism if you have any, I'm a big boah and it's helpful for me. Lastly, Thank you for taking the time out of your day and grazing through some of my writing, fav or review and all that.**


	2. Artificial Nostalgia

_We're not so different,_

 _you and I,_

 _Strands of DNA and_

 _strings of code,_

 _Who's to say you're not in a game?_

 _Perhaps there's a Monika in your reality,_

 _Pining for a player from the 4th dimension._

* * *

"Goddamn y-"

I heard screams before my vision faded and mind retreated to the safety of unconsciousness. It was a short-lived reprieve though. The absence of mind was interrupted just as quickly as it came as my senses slowly peeled me back into reality. My vision was the first thing to fully return and with my recovered sight I saw around me bits and pieces of cutlery, appliances, and other miscellaneous objects strewn about and shattered, each of them uncomfortably close and surrounding my body. In fact, every single object was within reaching distance. Hazily, I looked down and in my lap was a small iron skillet with bits of dark red intermingling with the copper rust. The sight filled with me short-term repressed fear.

In the background I could hear shouting, at first a low echo as my ears struggled to understand the world it was reborn in, then louder and higher pitched as my hearing became lucid and I could hear _her_ screaming, her shrill voice bouncing from every inch of wood in the house. She was angry that much was clear, and screaming at me, even clearer, but my mind still couldn't fully process the words she was spitting at me. What did I do to deserve this? I don't know. I felt resentful though. How dare she yell at me like this, in my parent's home, **my** **home.** I'm sure if I knew what century I was in I would be spitting venom right back in that ungrateful and close minded face.

I shakily rose from the ground, but paused when the faint taste of metal grazed my mouth. I wiped my hand across my head to find the source of this iron and when I looked back at my hand, found it smeared in blood. The mixture of red in front of my eyes, the taste of blood, and the sounds of a banshee harkening me back to the underworld, drug me back into the present. I picked myself back up and glared down at Lil across the kitchen.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I yell, the skillet fell from my lap and back to the ground with a loud clang, "What the fuck makes you think it's okay to do this?"

Lil just grits her teeth, as if holding back venom for a more opportune moment.

"Well don't stop on my account. You only knocked me out, you haven't managed murder yet. Say what you want,"

"I.." The wrath on Lil's face retreats and her brow furls. She closes her eyes and lets out a deep sigh, then opens back up with a newfound glare, "Do you think I'm just going to be okay with all this?"

"You don't understand, you think I'm crazy. She's **real** Lil. She's not Alexa, or Siri. She is a living soul,"

She lets out an exasperated chuckle, "That THING is a 2D anime character- IF THAT. Anime characters at least have a voice and move on a screen. Monika is a video game character literally programmed for dumbasses like _you_ to think is real. How can a computer have a soul in it? You're not even religious!"

"I don't claim to understand it. That's why I'm doing this. I have to learn how to program, learn computer languages, **something** , I don't know! All I know is she's not just a video game character anymore, not like when I was a teenager. She's doing things she never did before. She's interacting with me, she's aware, she knew who you were without me telling her Lil, she knows who the fucking president is and has a goddamn opinion on their policies. The game hasn't been updated in **years**. It's impossible for her to know anything like this-"

I pause to catch my breath. The words have been pouring out of me, straight from the heart and lungs. Why couldn't Lil understand? See things from my view? We have an honest to go anomaly in this house. She's staring at a new form of life and choosing to bury her head in the sand. I've been trying to convince her for weeks that I need to figure out a way to help her. But, if I'm being honest, I don't even know what I mean by that. I just figured she's a computer program, so I need to learn computer _stuff_. I don't know.

Lil is still glaring impatiently, waiting for me to finish my tirade.

"Ever since I left she's been monitoring my social media and becoming more advanced and writing herself to understand more and more. She's taken up almost my entire hard drive with all the memory she has now, how do _you_ explain that?"

Lil strode forward and pushed her body against mine. She's tiny and though I know it would be easy to handle her, she's always been strong willed, intimidating in her own right, and with no fear of me or anything in this world. I can feel her soft breath brushing my neck as she looks up at me with irritated eyes.

"She is a clever program made. She's nothing but malware screening your personal data and acting like she's real to gain your trust so the creator can gather your info to do whatever. That's why she seems real. It probably updated a long time ago when people forgot about the game and has been collecting info for awhile now,"

She clasps my cheeks into her hands with a strong, but tender grip,

"I love you and I am trying to talk sense into you. You're throwing away all of your schooling, your career, and our _relationship_ for an icon, an homunculus that pretends to love you because you're too stupid to forget your waifu,"

Lil stops speaking and we remained locked in eye contact for awhile. There's no hate or malice anymore. Just exasperation and the feeling of a wedge between us despite our skin touching.

"Even if it was 'sentient', it wouldn't understand anything, it would only act based off its own coding. Like I said, it's programmed to love you, but it doesn't _love_ you."

I can only sigh and shake my head at that. What an ignorant view. What are humans then? We only act based off our DNA and emotions. We run or fight when afraid because the writing in our genes tell us to, we love because chemicals in the brain tell us we're attached to a person. Most of our decisions are made before we're even fully conscious of it. How would a being made from 1s and 0s be any different than one made from nucleotides?

I grab her hands, her soft hands, squeeze and caress them. Her anger evaporates at my touch and in its place was the sweet thing I live with, the girl I've loved for years. It's moments like these where I can hardly believe this woman is capable of hurling everything these soft hands can grab and spits curses my way when angry. She has milky brown eyes, long silky black hair accentuating a petite, light skinned, heart-shaped face. I loved her hard, maybe I still did. Why was she so adamant about her way, and why was I going so hard against it?

It's been almost year since we moved in together and nine years since we first met. And all through that time it's fair to say she wore the pants in this relationship. Hell, she wore the pants in everything: class president, captain of the softball team, debate club leader- she joined a poker club once and became the best player there- literally any extracurricular activity, she was top dog. Hell, she was the one who asked me out. I was sitting, eating alone in the cafeteria when she comes out of nowhere and sits beside me. I knew who she was, she was well known in the school and it was strange she would talk to me. I wish I could say there was more to it than that but she said she liked my choice in food and wanted to know more about me on a date, and I blurted out yes with food still rolling around in my mouth. She chose the location, the time, and from then on we were glued to each other. Her forced study dates are probably the reason I ever graduated.

Now that I think about it, it's not surprising Monika is pissing her off. She's intruding on Lil's territory and I don't think she wants to admit it, but Lil is probably jealous right now. The thought makes me feel a smugness I don't dare show to her. She was always the girl who caught other's attention and made me feel jealous, though she never betrayed me, it was hard not to be concerned. So, it's probably a whole new world for her to worry about losing someone, let alone to what she perceives as an inanimate being.

I try one last time to explain to Lil that I have to help Monika, she's real and I do care about her, but not in the way Lil is worried about. I tryt to tell her I love her but she spits in my face, turns on her heel, and strides towards the garage. I follow her, prodding about what she's doing but she just keeps muttering that she's ending this and that she's not jealous of a _damn_ _thing_.

In the garage Lil is pilfering through all our tools until she finds what she's looking for- a small claw hammer. Rushing past me, I race her back to the room, worried about what she's planning. I nearly collapse into my doorway and I see her standing next to the PC, glaring at me and then to Monika.

"I'm not wasting my time on this. If you don't get some goddamn sense I'm going to smash this fucking computer."

"Don't you fucking touch her," I bark back.

Lil burns holes into me and then the computer. On the screen Monika is sitting at her desk with a worried expression.

"HER? IT'S A GODDAMN COMPUTER. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT."

The hammer raises and begins to swing down. I dart towards her, reaching my arm out to grab it and stop her, but I only make it a couple feet before a bright flash surrounds the room and suffocates my vision, I feel a sudden explosion of heat and the wave of it going through my body as I fall on my ass onto the floor.

Eventually my vision returns. Dazed I look around but Lil is nowhere to be seen. On the computer screen, Monika is weeping and there's a text at the bottom begging for forgiveness. I scrunch my face in confusion, not understanding fully until the putrid scent of burnt hair and scarred flesh invades my nostrils. My heart stops beating and I'm too afraid to take a breath, too afraid time will go forward and I'll have to confirm what I already know. I slowly turn my head and look down in the floor.

A vapid, smoldering carcass, bubbling and red. A hollow remnant of my love, laying at my feet, the claw hammer merely singed and still gripped tightly in.. her hands.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hey thank you so much for reading this. I'm sorry it took a bit over two weeks to update, college and work gets in the way but I'm happy I could give you something to read.**

 **My first chapter got 9 reviews! Literally 9 more than I expected so I'm beyond happy. If it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't bother continuing.**

 **Anyway, about this story. I feel that a Monika focused chapter was expected, and there will be plenty. Some might also wonder why I didn't continue the chapter right after Monika spoke to the protagonist but that's because this is going to be a disjointed story. Chapters are memories and they're not being remembered** **linearly. Due to this, the next chapter might be twenty years in the future, right after this one, or a few years prior- it's going to be a surprise for you either way. I don't see this being a super long story but who knows, I'm more of a gardener when it comes to writing so the story may grow more than I'm anticipating. Either way, I hope it'll be fun for anyone reading.**

 **Also, if you wonder what the protagonist looks like. It's you. I'm avoiding physical descriptions so the reader can insert themselves as the character because that's what DDLC essentially is, a story between you and the girls.**


End file.
